Friday - Sep 22, 2017

Friend’s Ex-girlfriend. Should I Try or Not?


This question is even harder than Shakespeare’s “to be or not to be”. Your friend broke up with a girl but soon you began to notice that you have a small crush on her. This girl took your attention long time ago. She seemed at least a pretty nice person. You start communicating with her because you used to do it so now it may not mean anything. You realize that you have a lot in common and the most terrible thing is that she seems to like you. From the first look you understand that now your friend and this girl are separated so nothing connects them anymore. But anyway it’s kind of weird situation. So now you have to choose between friendship and a girlfriend.

There two variants of consequences in this situation. First one is that you still have a friend but don’t have a girlfriend, second one is that you have a new girlfriend but don’t have a friend anymore. If you think that you can get them both then you’re very mistaken. Remember that the third variant was made up by these ex-girlfriend in order to get a nice guy which is currently their ex’s friend.

1) You still have a Friend but do not have a Girlfriend

Reliable friend is a real rareness nowadays. This is a person whom you can count on and who will always come to help you. Even if he doesn’t tell you that he’s against your relationship with his ex actually he is. He may not say it out loud but in case where you will be with her he will start laughing at you, making jokes about e.g. “How do you like that mole on her butt?” etc. He may not want to see her again so next his party will be held you and your girlfriend. So soon the frequency of your communication will be reduced then he will stop telling you about his problems and sharing ideas and finally you will not be friends anymore but only acquaintances. Furthermore, it was some reasons why he had broken up with her. Anyway, it will be recognized as a betrayal. So be careful with your choice in order not to regret about it.

2) You have a New Girlfriend but don’t have a Friend Anymore

It doesn’t matter if he still has feelings for her or he was the initiator of their breakup, anyway, your friend won’t be glad if you’ll pick her ex up.

  • At first, you have to define how serious your feelings are. You have to understand whether you’re ready to sacrifice your friendship for your relationship. If you really love that girl then you may try. Perhaps, your relationship will be perfect, who knows.
  • Never hide your feelings for that girl from your friend. You may try to talk with him about it. He will get to know everything anyway and them it will be a real betrayal.
  • Don’t be afraid of his reaction. Of course, he will hardly like it but he may let you do it and won’t become a barrier for your mutual happiness.

3) You get Them Both – Not Available!

As we’ve already mentioned the third variant where you get everything is not possible. Don’t even try to lie to yourself because you may lose them both in trying. You have to set the priority for yourself and to make a right decision. If you really appreciate your friendship then you shouldn’t have relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Look around, you will be able to find another girl. Register on some online dating website (e.g. Invite) and find whoever you like. There thousands like her and even more beautiful though you may not find such reliable friend anymore. But if you’re sure that she is love of your life and you are ready to fight for her despite all obstacles then you will have to look for another best friend. Good luck with your choice and remember that real men’s friendship is always more important than girls!